We are thirsty for love, approbation, attention, validation and that might draw us into going to the wrong sources that can fill us up for a bit but doesn't really make our thirst go away. Only God can do that for us.
I certainly didn’t see myself single at 40 without any little nuggets to show off, or being the one always trying to find a last minute date to a wedding, but hey that’s where God has placed me for now. It took me a while and lots of painful lessons to get here but I’ve decided a while ago that I’m simply going back to the source.
I’m a sports fan and despite his couch jumping and views on scientology, I am a huge Tom Cruise fan and connected with his 1996 movie, Jerry Maguire. So yeah yeah I’ve used the “You Complete Me” line before, actually quite a bit.
In reality however, she didn't complete me, they never completed me. She didn't even know me, well not like the One who created me knows me. And for that matter.. he or she will never complete you either. Only God can. By the way, Matthew 6:8 says He knows what you want even before you ask. Pretty neat huh?
Chapter 9 of Pastor Rich’s book Single and Secure notes that the burden of your happiness is simply too much for one person to bear. Further that finding satisfaction in God, not in a significant other is a much better way to date because it allows you to relate to others from a palace of inner peace and self-confidence.
We were made to give and receive love
According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and also adopted by Tony Robbins, love and human connection are among the top needs for human survival. Once physiological needs such as food and water have been fulfilled of course.
Which explains why so many people struggle with sacrificing their own happiness and sometimes physical and mental health in the pursuit of love or feeling connected. That’s not shocking because when you think about it we have all had at least two suitors, some of us three even before puberty.
I was blessed with a terrific father who loved me, coached me, prayed over me, set good examples for me, provided for me, supported me mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, socially. Maybe your story is a bit different from mine and you didn't grow up with loving and supportive parents, or perhaps one of them was missing from your life and there was a lot of pain. If so, I want to encourage you by sharing that God was with you and will always be with you.
Even if you never knew your father, you absolutely had a mother. An at least nine month nurturing, physical, loving connection with a woman who, generally speaking, put your needs above her own. Even if you were adopted at birth, you had those first developmental months with your biological mother. And that’s quite a connection.
And even before that, a God who designed a uniquely YOU! Placing every hair on your head, curating your hair and eye color and darn it if I don't acknowledge your fingerprints. Even if you have a twin or are within a set of triplets, etc.. there literally is not and never has been anyone on Earth exactly like you.
So even before you breathed your first breath, you were loved. With that, being born into and of this world meant you were of Sin, because of Adam and Eve’s behavior and thirst to be more powerful.
We are thirsty
We need it, we thrive on it, it's built into our DNA. But it's unattainable in earthly form, we need to go back to the source. Just like these bottled water companies want you to envision purity and the cleanest unobstructed untainted water to quench your thirst, the Bible wants you to understand that your spiritual thirst can only be satisfied through living water from Jesus.
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” - John 4:10
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and its righteous…. why? Because that is the perfect place, the cleanest and only untainted place where you can have your needs met… and all these things will be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
So if you’re like I was, are dating thirsty and have developed some bad habits which have led to some inappropriate behaviors and now you’re continually looking for love in all the wrong places, turning to strangers just like they are a friend.. Just remember you have authority over your body and life; trust in Him, find your value in Him, believe His love, own your journey and be secure in who you are.
Skip the cycle of unfulfilling passing pleasures and go back to the source. To the only one who not only knows you best but loves you the most. And the only one who can truly satisfy your thirst.
He completes you!
You can learn more about Dehydrated Dating through this Single & Secure message by Pastor Rich Wilkerson Jr.