Finding Security in Singleness

February 23, 2023
5 min read
Written By

Romans 12:1

“Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.”

In today’s day and age, when one hears singleness it can almost come off as a curse word; a trigger. The world gives off this false reality, that to be secure one needs to be in a relationship. To be whole, one needs to find the other “half” that completes them. The truth is, a relationship isn’t two halves making a whole, but two whole, and secure people coming together to make a partnership.

In order to be secure in a relationship, it's important to first start secure within yourself.

In Ecclesiastes, the author tells us “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” This is an important truth we should hold onto when navigating the seasons of our lives, including singleness.

Singleness is a true gift from God, and is something we should welcome and live in with contentment, and gratitude. The way I was able to receive this revelation was by first discovering that Jesus is truly all I need, and His love is more than enough for me.

For several years of my life, I strived to find love in all the wrong places. I never felt secure in my singleness, and carried the title as a burden, rather than a blessing. This led to years of insecurity, lack of boundaries, and sacrificing my values. Ultimately leaving me empty, and leading me back to the same toxic cycles.

Now looking back on my life, I wish I could tell my younger self that everything I was searching for could be found in one person alone, and his name is Jesus. When I decided to fully give my heart to the Lord, everything changed. I was now fully secure in who I was, and the woman God has created me to be. I didn't feel as if I was lacking in anything, and my heart's desires were fulfilled by his unconditional, and overwhelming love.

As I am currently in my season of singleness, some practical things that have helped me to remain content, and confident in my relationship status have been: having a vision, knowing who I am, and who my God is, sticking to my standards, and running after Jesus with all I've got.

Having a vision for my future has been one of the biggest reasons I have remained patient, and secure. I believe that God has intentionally given me a vision for my future husband, and family. In knowing that, the Holy Spirit has been able to give me discernment over what is for me, and what is not. If you feel as if you don't have a vision in this area of your life, don’t feel discouraged, but rather ask God to show you what his vision for your future relationship will look like.

As I mentioned above, there were several years of my life where I didn't truly know my identity, and allowed insecurity to rule my life. Now being in Christ, I am fully confident in who I am, as a child of God; worthy of good things from my Heavenly Father. I alone am not good, but with Jesus, I am more than enough. In knowing this, I hold tightly to the truth that God wants only his best for me, and that his ways are far greater than mine can ever be.

That being said, I have been able to remain firm in the standards that not only I have set, but godly standards that the Bible encourages. Such as: looking for someone who is pure in heart and mind, someone who is selfless and willing to serve others, someone who pursues and loves the Lord above all else, someone who is kind, loving, patient. Someone who pursues righteousness, and has self control. The word of God is filled with standards that us as singles should look to and stand firm in.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Lastly, and most importantly, I've taken this season to chase after Jesus with every part of my life, and being. It’s been such a joy, and blessing to know that he alone is the one that captivates my heart, and receives all my love. Ive been able to discover more of who he is, and more of who I am in him. I've realized how sweet this season truly is, and part of me knows I will mourn it once the day comes that I am in a relationship, but I will find contentment knowing that just like my singleness, I'm stepping into another beautiful season of life.

James 1:17

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

The VOUS Blog is a space for discovery with resources and reflections, curated by the VOUS community and team, to encourage you on the journey.

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