[lead dropcap="yes"]This weekend, our pastors, Rich and DawnCheré Wilkerson, began a series of talks on relationships titled “Love On The Weekend.” To kick it off, they tag-teamed a high-impact message called “It's Not You, It’s Me.” It’s easy to cringe when we hear that phrase, perhaps remembering an awkward breakup or a cheesy movie scene, but in the context of the Bible, that phrase is a great place to start a healthy relationship.[/lead]In Matthew 22:37-39, Jesus told his followers the greatest commandments of all:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
If you don’t learn to love yourself, you’ll never be able to fully love others. Jesus cares about our relationships, and through developing a healthy relationship with him, we can begin to form healthy relationships with one another. Healthy relationships are made up of healthy individuals! Pastors Rich and DawnCheré gave us three bits of wisdom to help us evaluate ourselves, look inward, and heal ourselves through the word of God.
IT'S NOT GETTING, IT'S BECOMING
Come on, admit it – you have a secret list hiding somewhere, detailing exactly what you’re looking for in a partner. Looks, hair color, height, hobbies, the lists are endless. We’re so good at deciding what we want in others, but are we on a journey in becoming those things as well? If you want your partner to be nice, are you being nice? Are you passionately in love with God? Are you walking out your calling? Are you the person that the person you’re looking for, is looking for?Although it's good to know what you want in a partner, it’s important that we make note of who we are, and who we want to become. We don't have to put our lives on hold, waiting for the perfect person to come and check the boxes off our lists. We are called to continue growing, moving forward, and becoming all that we are designed to be by God, regardless of our relationship status. We’re never done preparing for our relationships. Preparation should last a lifetime, because through Jesus, we’re constantly changing for the better!
IT'S NOT FALLING, IT'S CHOOSING
We live in a culture that’s obsessed with love. Many of us love a good fairytale, where the two main characters fall in love. But what about after the fall? When the butterflies fly away, and life gets real? Love is hard, and it takes commitment to choose to stick it out, even when it gets tough. Are you making decisions out of a place of devotion, or out of emotion? The warm, fuzzy feelings of a relationship are nice, but love is more than chemistry. It’s a choice.
IT'S NOT HIDING, IT'S HEALING
Sometimes relationships are hard because we bring all of our baggage with us: past relationships, hurt, pain, and confusion. We can often become jaded and think that a healthy relationship will never be possible for us. When we come to church, let's allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest about our pain, God heals it. By developing a relationship with Jesus, we find healing and peace, and walk into relationships as healthy, healed individuals. Healthy relationships are made up of healthy people. God created each of us, and when we’re broken, he doesn’t just tape us back together and watch us limp through life – he makes us new, complete, and whole once again. By allowing God to heal the hurts of our pasts, we make it possible to have healthy relationships in the future. We all love love. We love to love, and we love to be loved! When we allow Jesus to be the center of every relationship we build, we stand a chance at being healthy, happy, and going the distance! But while Jesus’ greatest commands for us are to love him, and love others, those commands include loving ourselves. Before we can love others, we must learn to love ourselves. God wants to heal our hurts, soothe our aches, and drive us towards our destinies, which he laid out before we were even born. If we want to build healthy relationships, we have to look inward first. Let’s allow God to make us the best versions of ourselves, completely whole in him, so we can love ourselves, and in turn, love others the way he designed us to do.
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Making Space for Five Services
VOUS Church is making space as we continue our journey with 5 services each Sunday at 9:15 a.m., 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 5 p.m., and 7 p.m. Our hope is that as we make ourselves available to God, he will use us to further share his promise and message to all those who need it.
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