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10 Lessons From the Movies on Love

Hollywood is known for feeding us fairy tales on love. These improbable romances can lead us to a few unrealistic expectations in our own relationships. Fortunately, not every clip from the silver screen is completely misleading. There are many stories that aren't afraid to deal with real issues that pop up in everyday relationships. Let's dive in and explore some moments where Hollywood got the story on love both wrong and right. There are valuable lessons to gain from all 10 of these examples that we can apply to godly relationships.

Times the movies got it wrong:

1. “Love means never having to say you're sorry.” – Jennifer Cavalleri, Love StoryYes, love is kind and forgives easily, but all relationships should have two people who are willing to apologize when one has wronged the other. 2. “You complete me.” – Jerry Maguire, Jerry Maguire While life is meant to be shared with others, relationships are not about two incomplete people coming together to become whole. Healthy relationships thrive when two whole and confident people join together for a purpose greater than themselves.3. “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” – Noah Calhoun, The Notebook A common issue in romance movies is a character's desire to define their identity based on that of their partner's. However, it’s God, the one who created and molded us, who has already defined who we are—his children. 4. “I love you. You’re my only reason to stay alive… if that’s what I am”. – Edward Cullen, Twilight This story portrays two people who struggle with self-worth and are anchored in a co-dependent relationship. No matter what our insecurities may want us to believe, in every season our lives have purpose and meaning. It is possible to live with intention, regardless of whether we have a significant other by our side. 5. “I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” – Frances "Baby" Houseman, Dirty Dancing Healthy relationships are decisions that go beyond just feelings. Granted, emotions can be addictive. Our pulse rises and we're made to believe that our heart should beat near the limit of hypertension every time we're with our loved one. But because feelings are fleeting it means we shouldn’t follow them. It's important we stay committed to the person rather than the feeling.

Times the movies got it right:

6. “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours." – Olaf, Frozen Love is sacrificial giving. When you are in a healthy relationship, you know that by working for the other person you’ll be working for the both of you. 7. "It’s possible, isn’t it? It’s possible that you could meet somebody who’s perfect for you even though you’re committed to somebody else." - Brooke Dalton "No, no, see, I think if you’re committed to somebody, you don’t allow yourself to find perfection in someone else." – Nick Vaughan, Before We Go Blame it on the idea of soulmates. So many of us spend so much energy jumping from one relationship to the next trying to find the perfect match that we lose sight of what's in front of us. In reality, love is a choice we make every day. Choosing to stay committed, faithful and loyal regardless of who else may cross our path, is what brings us the lasting love we crave. 8. “True, that he’s no Prince Charming, but there’s something in him that I simply didn’t see." – Belle, Beauty and the Beast Don’t let physical appearance or the idea of “love at first sight” rob you of the opportunity of getting to know someone. While physical attraction is important, a person’s character makes all the difference in building an enduring relationship. 9. "We accept the love we think we deserve." – Bill Anderson, The Perks of Being a Wallflower Many times, we accept the things we believe are true in relationships because of the patterns we saw while growing up. Instead, we could choose to start believing that we deserve the love that was promised to us by God, regardless of what we were taught when we were young. 10. “It’s not like in the movies. It’s better, because it’s real.” – Lara Jean Covey, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before This quote sums up what love should be - real. Real is what drives us to be passionate about our relationships. It’s what encourages us to stick it out through tough times. Even though love isn't like the movies, there's so much we can learn if we open our eyes to the lessons. It's our everyday actions that propel our relationships forward. When we decide to truly love, we become aware that "happily ever after" isn't a destination but a journey.

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